Confession : I and Daddy were in love
I have never really fancied being extremely hairy because it keeps attracting unneeded attention. I am by no means anti
Many times I really wanted to scrape every single hair off me and be free to rock short clothes without raising dust. I would ask around for the best means to rid my body of all hairs and never to return but I never got around to doing the wipe mainly because the king of hairs himself so loved the fact that I took after him in that regard. On those fine evenings when we sat outside the house, he would share interesting stories about the past and to relax, I would place my legs on his laps. Daddy would suspend his right hand on my legs or hair while we chatted and laughed.
Our love was open. Once, my elder sister accused him of loving me more than the others. He saved the day by reassuring of his equal love for all but we knew better, I was his favourite. He would turn to his wife, my mum, and say “hope you know that my mummy is prettier than you are”. Knowing better than to contest it, mum would make a fine joke of it and leave it at that. Because he adored me that much, I am yet to believe that I am less than anyone. It made me reach for the top in all I ever did knowing he would be there to celebrate me and tell the world that his love is the best.
When I finally put Jamb in its place that year, I couldn’t wait to hug daddy and tell him I did it. And when my sisters first child died, on hearing the news, I couldn’t wait to hug daddy and have him and tell me we will be OK. I was so used to his reassuring arms of support and seven years without him has been but a dream. No one has taken that place… His love for me was so pure and clear, it left me with no single bad memories of him.
I learnt something different though during my service year in Ibadan. I interacted a lot with this particular couple who just had their first baby, a girl. The wife once revealed that she was never at rest leaving her baby in her husband’s care to avoid stories that touch. She said that in such occasions she would keep praying for her daughters safety until her return. I was not too surprised to hear that, just saddened by how horrible things are. I tried to understand her position given the prevalent cases of incest and sexual abuse by fathers on their own daughters putting them on a life time journey of shame.
Many mothers can’t trust their husband’s to not contemplate or actually rape their little girls. It is no longer strange to hear of fathers who even regularise the beastly act, most only get caught after impregnating the helpless girls.
If only we had more discerning fathers like mine who knew that love exists in categories and that each one is expressed differently. If only we had loving fathers like mine who loved me to the moon and back without any betrayal. If only we had super dads like my sweet dad who did all to solidify my sense of self worthworth and self esteem. If only most fathers would love their babies like daddy loved me, life and living would be more interesting.
